Day 24: Metropolis Optometrist

 

Day 24: Metropolis Optometrist

I’m a little embarrassed to say that this is part of my song-a-day writing project for January 2024. But hey, it’s a song…

Lyrics:

I am the optometrist
And I live in Metropolis
And I contend
That this Clark Kent
Has made a fool of all of us

His famous pair of glasses
Just frames that have no lenses
And when he stares
At Miss Lane's rear
Her pants have no defenses

His X-ray eyes
Can see her thighs
And then he flies away
What does he do
In the solitude
Of his fortress, I can't say

I am the examiner
Of ocular parameters
And I can see
How he deceives
Young Jimmy Olsen's camera

No one seems suspicious
Even Perry White's oblivious
To his star reporter's
Fondness for
Miss Catherine Grant's new minidress

His X-ray eyes
Can see her thighs
And then he flies away
What does he do
In the solitude
Of his fortress, I can't say

Mister Luther, I need your aid
For my solution to end his charade
I know his secret, I know I'm right
Please help me give him rims
Of green kryptonite

The Daily Planet's healthcare plan
Will be the end of Superman
And once addressed
His vision test
Will surely be his last exam

I am the Optometrist
Eye doctor of Metropolis
I will protect all of us
I am the Optometrist

***

Details: This is a convoluted one. I challenged a friend of mine to paint a picture to the same prompt I was going to write a song to. The prompt was "Hide in Plain Sight" and was from the Fearless Songwriting challenge from a couple weeks ago, but I didn't use it at the time. So that was the theme I was working with tonight.

Earlier in the day I heard a version of "One More Day" from Les Miserables, and I thought about doing some sort of theatrical song a la stage musicals. I don't generally like stage musicals, though I can appreciate the artistry behind them. But that got me thinking about this compilation of Disney songs reinterpreted by popular performers, specifically Tom Waits' version of "Heigh Ho (the Dwarf's Marching Song)" which then reminded me of his original song "Singapore", which totally influenced the rhythm of my song. I was going to try to sing it like Tom Waits, but damn, that's screws up my voice pretty quickly.

On top of all that, I went to the Ophthalmologist today for a long overdue eye exam. It was a topic that jived with the "Hidden in Plain Sight" theme. I went with Optometrist over Ophthalmologist because I thought it was more musical. Then once I got going, the Clark Kent reference just popped out and I was thinking "Well, of course an optometrist would notice that Clark Kent's glasses are fake". And then I made him suspicious that Superman is pervy about using his X-ray vision.

*sigh*

Anyway, that's how it happened...

Heroic Origins: Coin Flip

 Coin Flip - S1E1 Heroic Origins

In the debut episode of the Heroic Origins podcast, Terrance & Dave talk about Little Orphan Annie, Dennis the Menace, Kit Kittredge: American Girl, the Monkey's Paw, Lionel Ritchie, and the 1933 Chicago World's Fair, all on the way to creating brand new superhero!

Comic Book Stuff...

So, I used to be a huge comic book buff (I suppose I still am, but I can't quite afford the habit anymore). Check out this episode of the Rocky Mountain Geek Tank to hear me wax rhapsodically about them.

P.S. - I wrote the theme song for the show...

Short Reviews: Mutants, Avengers and Nice Guys Singing with Gangsta Cats...

X-men: Apocalypse - Overall, a big disappointment after Days of Future Past and First Class. The first two films in the reboot focused on the competing ideologies of Professor X and Magneto with Mystique stuck in the middle, and that made for a compelling conflict. In this installment, they pay some lip service to the triangle, but mostly focus on introducing new characters and a generically realized villain. Aside from the design work done for some of the new characters (Storm, Psylocke and Nightcrawler look pretty awesome), the film is muddled and shallow. And if you're a comic book purist, you'll be thoroughly upset with the liberties taken with some of the characters.

Sing Street - Director John Carney has made headlines lately after trashing Kiera Knightley's work in his previous film, Begin Again. While I also had trouble with Knightley's casting in that film, Sing Street shows that Carney bears plenty of responsibility for his missteps. Like Once, this film is set in Ireland, but it's about a teenage boy in the 80s who starts a band to impress a girl. There's a certain sweetness and local flavor that lifts it up, but the songs are as mediocre as the ones in Begin Again and fail to fully support the rebellious stance taken by the story. The film is a pleasant, but fails to rise above the level of unreflective adult nostalgia.

The Nice Guys - Shane Black was once the highest paid screenwriter in Hollywood, having penned the highly influential Lethal Weapon series. More recently, he's been directing his own scripts, most notably the massive blockbuster Iron Man 3, but also the cult favorite Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. The Nice Guys follows in the vein of that small, neo-noir buddy film, but doesn't quite match its lofty virtues. The film makes some confusing choices at the beginning and then the last third of the film just sort of happens. However, the chemistry between Russell Crowe, Ryan Gosling and Angourie Rice (stealing the show as Gosling's character's daughter) is glorious and alone probably worth the price of admission. I'm not sure if there's going to be a sequel, but I'd love to see this crew again in a better film.

Captain America: Civil War - For my money, the Captain America series has been the highest quality Marvel Studios franchise to date, and Civil War keeps the streak alive. I'm in awe of the Russo brother's ability to keep a movie this big this balanced. Every one of the huge cast of characters gets their moment in the sun, but unlike other superhero films, Civil War knows which ones are the stars and which ones are merely the supporting cast. The themes of the film are interwoven masterfully with personal motivations, and you also get the best mass superhero battle of all time! Highly recommended. See it again and again...

Keanu - I really enjoy Key and Peele's sketch comedy show and was looking forward to a feature length treatment of their sensibilities. But greatness on the small screen doesn't always translate to the big one, and in many ways Keanu feels like a comedy sketch stretched from 5 to 100 minutes. There are some very funny scenes, and Key and Peele put on some tremendous performances, but there's just not enough to carry you all the way through.

Review: Batman V Superman

I would say I'm disappointed, except that Batman V Superman was almost exactly how I imagined it would be. The idea of pitting Batman against Superman is great, and it should've been a wonderful movie, but in their attempt to jump-start the DC Cinematic Universe (to compete with Marvel's ultra-franchise), they crammed too much in and killed the pace of the film.

Now I like Zach Snyder. He's prodigiously skilled at crafting cinematic spectacle, but he also wants to make movies with meaning (even if he sometimes lacks the nuance to pull it off). He's Michael Bay with a conscience. Unlike many critics, I really enjoyed his take on Superman in 2013's Man of Steel. It wasn't terribly faithful to the comics, but we've already seen that version with the Richard Donner films of the 70s and 80s. Snyder is all about exploring how a truly godlike being can affect our humanity, and I think that's a fascinating approach. My favorite parts of this film showed how mind-bending the existence of Superman would actually be. Every time he arrives on scene, he seems strange and inhuman.

And Superman is not the protagonist of this film; instead, we get mostly Bruce Wayne's perspective. I confess, even though I admire Ben Affleck's directorial skills, I think he's kind of a bad actor. Normally he sleepwalks through his roles, but he brings an intensity to Bruce Wayne that I've never seen from him before.
This is actually one of my favorite depictions of the character. The design of the Bat-suit is fresh and I really appreciated the voice modulation (let's be honest, Christian Bale's gravelly whisper was the worst thing about his Batman films). I definitely approve of this new take on Batman. When it focuses on Bruce Wayne and Batman's reaction to Superman, this is a pretty good film.

I have some quibbles. Jesse Eisenberg plays an interesting villain, he just has no business being called Lex Luthor. It feels like they unnecessarily burned through one of the more important DC villains (Dr. Doom can relate). If you're going to deviate from a character so much, why not just use a different character? There must be some supervillain from DC that has a similar act as Jesse Eisenberg.

Wonder Woman is introduced in an interesting and mysterious fashion, but seems just thrown in during the climax of the film (though Gal Gadot does a great job in a small role). There are several dream sequences that seemed unnecessary. There are a lot of plot building moments that somehow manage to be both plodding and rushed at the same time. The final battle is not as momentous as it wants to be. And, of course, the set-up for the next film feels a bit forced.

All in all, it's a good, but not great, film. If you like grittier takes on superheroes, you'll probably enjoy this. It may try your patience at times, but when it delivers, it delivers well.

Ant-Man: Cheryl & Dave's Review

Here's a another movie review from me and my buddy, Cheryl.  "Ant-Man" is a fun film, but there's plenty to pick at if that's something you're wont to do (which we are, apparently).

Movie Review: Age of Ultron (2015)

Pacing is a big deal to me, and when you have a movie with a lot of plot and tons of characters, things can get a bit muddled.  Avengers: Age of Ultron does a pretty good job of balancing things considering how much happens, but I still came away feeling like it was a 3 hour movie crammed into 2 hours and 20 minutes.  Now, I'm a Marvel Comics fanboy from way back; so when I watch this film, I see all the cameos and Easter eggs that probably go over the heads of the average viewer.  It's quite possible that those who only know the movies wouldn't see all the stuff that I do.

Still, if it's overstuffed, it's overstuffed with goodness.  The action sequences are all great, though my favorite parts were the witty dialogue and nice character touches.  Director Joss Whedon is one of the best at working with ensemble casts-- every character advances their own personal story arcs; each actor gets their chance to shine.  I think the interpersonal relationships between the heroes are even better than in the first Avengers film.  Loki is absent this time around, but Ultron manages to be just as compelling a villain, if not moreso.  Genocidal robots are nothing new, but Ultron is a unique and entertaining take on an old trope.

Now, the first Avengers was a big deal.  On top of becoming a cultural phenomenon, it completely changed the film industry.  Superheroes were already dominant at the box office, but The Avengers showed that an interconnected universe could steamroll everything.  Since then, we've seen all the major studios rushing to create their own interconnected universes, and spreading from the big screen to the small screen, too.  Age of Ultron isn't quite as ground breaking as its precursor.  If anything, it probably shows the limits of interconnectedness-- the movie almost sinks under the weight of its cross-referencing.  On the other hand, it does signal an achievement some 30-odd years in the making:  pure, unadulterated comic book storytelling has reached the silver screen.  Up to this point, I feel like they've always compromised (at least a little), but not this time-- we're getting it all: the super, the silly and the shaggy.

Bonus Question:  How many of you would have been willing to see Avengers: Age of Ultron if it had been 3 hours long?  Would you have been more likely to wait until it came out on video?  

An Attack Of The Flash Facts, Part 2 (By Eric Farwell)

On Monday, Eric Farwell gave us Part 1 of a primer on The Flash and his enemies, and how they've evolved from comic book to television.  Today, Part 2 explores the origin stories of the various incarnations of The Flash and the casting choices made for the television series.  SPOILER ALERT: there may be some key plot points revealed in this article about the TV show.   --Dave

There’s no origin more boring than a random accident; thus every Flash used to have a boring origin. Jay Garrick was a college student who went oops in a science lab and breathed in some (wha?) hard water fumes, endowing him with super-speed. Barry Allen was working in his lab as a police scientist when a lightning bolt came out of nowhere and splashed him with chemicals. When Iris’s nephew, Wally West, was taking a tour of that very same police lab, another lightning bolt struck… and voila! Meet Kid Flash! The fastest yawn alive! Eventually, Wally would get the greatest costume in side-kick history, and a personality that meshed well with his team, the Teen Titans. He would also have a memorable twenty-five year run as the Flash, after his Uncle Barry died saving the universe in Crisis on Infinite Earths. But he would always have that lame-o origin, because it was an arbitrary repeat of the dull and random origin of the Silver Age Flash. Would the Flash ever shrug off the burden of his inauspicious beginnings?

                Yes. Oh, yes.

How do you fix an origin that’s inextricably tied-in with the character, especially after millions witnessed it in the 1990 Flash TV series starring John Wesley Shipp? The producers of the new TV series could have gone with one of the other Flashes, like Barry’s grandson from the future, Bart Allen. He was, perhaps, the cleverest fictional creation with super-speed, since he was an annoying adolescent with ADHD, called Impulse.

Choosing Barry for the TV show was the best bet, however, because he’s a Crime Scene Investigator. A super hero and a CSI? Talk about audience crossover! But two things had to be done with that origin. One: it had to be less random. Two: the most meaningful aspects of Barry’s story had to be culled from his decades in comics.

Even though Mark Waid, Johns, and others had done wonders with Wally West during Barry Allen’s decades as a dead man, fans never stopped clamoring for the return of their favorite Flash. In super hero comic books, it’s completely normal for characters to die and come back to life. It’s become so common that nobody took Batman’s death seriously several years ago. Barry’s demise in 1985 seemed like an easier death to undo than most, yet DC held firm that he wasn’t coming back. Perhaps it was because of Wally’s fatherhood and retirement, and Bart’s disastrous 13-issue turn as The Flash, that Barry’s return became possible. 

Barry Allen was the one character who had always been a nexus for DC Comics rebirth. He had renewed the company with the dawn of the Silver Age, and he had been the first to bridge the gap back into the Golden Age. In the early ‘60s, he accidentally went to a parallel Earth and met the older Flash, Jay Garrick. Thus were born Earths One and Two. More Earths were added to the DC canon; one for every faltering comic book company it bought, like Fawcett (Shazam) and Charlton (Blue Beetle). After decades of crossovers, then combining of universes into one, then blowing them apart again, the sorting has been done: there are now 52 parallel Earths. Now Barry Allen is the primary Flash again, on the primary world, Earth 0. Yet within this more manageable continuity, lives can still be shaken up on a grand scale.

Barry’s most evil enemy used time-travel to alter history, scarring him permanently with childhood trauma that is arguably worse for fans to contemplate than Bruce Wayne’s initiation as Batman. Those of us who grew up on a diet of Flash stories took some comfort in Barry’s contentment. To mess with that, Eobard Thawne, the Reverse Flash, was the perfect villain for Johns to use as he updated Barry’s origin. In his psychopathic need to inflict as much pain on Barry as possible, Thawne time-travelled into Barry’s childhood, killing his mother before his eyes, and framing his father for the crime. He even appeared at times to invisibly bully young Barry, once knocking him down a flight of stairs. What better way to get nerds and geeks to identify with our hero than to scar him during childhood, with a rosy picture of what should have been just lurking in the background? For Batman, it had always been his destiny to see his parents gunned down. For the Flash, his happier destiny had been ruthlessly stolen.

Cue the TV series. At the CW network, Green Arrow had been successfully adapted into Arrow. They were using origin flashbacks as skillfully as Lost, had a companionable team to support their hero, and now they were ready to use that formula in a spinoff. In bringing the Flash to the screen, they borrowed a plot device that had worked on Smallville (kryptonite) to explain why there were so many super powered enemies around… and improved upon it. By creating a crisis event at Central City’s Star Labs, they not only made FX super powers more plausible, they also managed to fix that last nagging part of the Flash’s origin: the lightning bolt. Now it was no longer random. Now it was part of a far-reaching event.

As if to compensate for the loss of Barry’s happier life, his support team is also a circle of friends, and he’s no longer the solitary hero he was in his erased timeline. But all is not well. The woman he loves, Iris (Candice Patton) is dating “Detective Pretty Boy,” Eddie Thawne (Rick Cosnett). Is this Professor Zoom, or one of his ancestors? Stealing Barry’s destined wife is just like something Zoom would do, but there’s something clueless about Eddie. Meanwhile Barry’s new mentor, Dr. Harrison Wells, is secretly ruthless in his protection of the Flash. He has ultra-tech that peers into future events, and he had foreknowledge of Barry’s origin.


The actor who plays him, Tom Cavanaugh, looks a lot like futuristic villain Abra Kadabra. Or maybe he’s another DC character like Rip Hunter, Time Master. Time will tell. Lots of clues to future events have already been sprinkled through the episodes for DC fans to find. There’s a busted-open cage at Star Labs with the name “Grodd” on it. Ronnie Raymond “died,” but we know he’s destined to become the hero Firestorm, just as achingly gorgeous Danielle Panabaker is destined to play the villain Killer Frost.

In any epic about the hero’s journey, one essential ingredient is heart. How appropriate it was for them to cast 1990’s Flash, John Wesley Shipp, as Barry’s imprisoned dad. Jesse L. Martin is formidable as the cop who served as Barry’s surrogate father, yet his sentimentality is close to the surface. Carlos Valdes is perfect as the brilliant and funny Cisco, a Johnny-on-the-spot with all the tech that Barry might need. And as the Flash, Grant Gustin brings all the brains and resourcefulness of Barry Allen, all the youthful brashness and appetite of Wally West, and all the stalwart righteousness of Jay Garrick. Back in the beginning, the Flash dressed like Mercury, and let us not forget what our modern super heroes are: the mythological gods of today.

An Attack of the Flash Facts, Part 1 (By Eric Farwell)

The new television show The Flash has been a huge success for the CW.  I asked my friend Eric Farwell to fill us in on everything we need to know about The Flash to enjoy the TV show.  In Part 1, Eric tells us about The Flash's publication history and his enemies.  Click here for Part 2.  --Dave

Of course, the greatest strength in the concept of The Flash is also its weakness: he moves impossibly fast. Huge thrills come from his ability to run a mile in seconds; to shower the crooks with dozens of punches; to evacuate a burning building in moments. But with no jeopardy, there’s no thrill. The guy who moves and sees and thinks at such a blur should be able to take down every opponent every time. His life would hardly ever be in danger. His enemies’ schemes would be instantly thwarted. In short (and it would be short) there would be no story. As a result, there have to be some absurdities added to the beyond-unlikely power of super speed. Back in the 1960s, the Flash was shown in his comic running around the world in seconds… yet he would also engage in lengthy banter with his rogues as he was running towards them. In the current hit TV show, the young Flash inexplicably pauses in the face of every villain in every one of the first four episodes. After all, if he’s unbeatable, there is no story… but he looks so lame when, lost in thought, he turns his back on Wentworth Miller's Captain Cold. Not once, but twice!    

         

This show is a nitpicker's dream.

                And so what? The legions who complained about the useless red shirts on Star Trek and the useless stormtroopers on Star Wars still loved those shows with a passion. It isn’t the appearance of conceits that doom a show, it’s usually uninspired writing that makes the fans puke (as both of the above franchises will attest). So far, The Flash has fine writing. Why wouldn’t it, with comic book greats like Greg Berlanti and Geoff Johns producing? The cast is dynamite, the backstory (from Johns’s comic miniseries The Flash: Rebirth) is riveting and heartbreaking, and the special effects are almost always a treat. It’s gratifying to see a decent screen version of a beloved icon that has been around since World War II. He was an icon as American as baseball, but steeped in old world myth.

The Flash known as Jay Garrick appeared in his Mercury-inspired helmet, with lightning bolts and wings on his snug-fit costume, on the cover of a comic dated January, 1940. Since the early days, issues came out months ahead of their cover dates, so The Flash is one of the elite heroes, including Superman and Batman, who debuted in the late 1930s. Well, they’re elite now. Back then they were merely seen as kid’s stuff, churned out by writers and artists who were held to a low standard. Perhaps the most notable benchmark of the original Flash’s career was his membership in the first super hero team in history, the Justice Society of America. Alongside such notables as Hawkman, the Spectre, and Green Lantern (whose costume was mostly red, for some reason), the Flash took part in thrilling JSA adventures. They were thrilling largely due to the novelty of a brightly-colored team of adventurers, not due to fine execution of the comics themselves.

By the early ‘50s, super heroes who weren’t Superman or Batman were old news. The hot sellers were War, Romance, and especially EC Horror and Crime comics and their imitators. Within just a few years, the cultural climate of the times doomed Horror and Crime, and the Comics Code Authority was imposed upon the industry. Without the hard-edged competition, DC (named after their Batman title Detective Comics) decided that they might be able to update some of their characters and capture the imaginations of the young baby-boom generation. A new version of the Flash was launched, and with him came the Silver Age.

Although the Silver Age would end up being dominated by Stan Lee and his collaborators (such as Jack Kirby) over at Marvel, their speedster Quicksilver never caught on the way the Flash did. Part of the reason why can be seen in the Flash’s debut back in 1956. The Scarlet Speedster, Barry Allen, had an eye-catching red suit. Carmine Infantino’s art had grace and fluidity. It didn’t hurt that the Flash joined the new super-team, Justice League of America, which included Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, and the new-and-improved (mostly green!) Green Lantern on its roster.

                This Flash had a rogue’s gallery of villains that equaled Batman’s, and that’s why so many of them are showing up on the new TV show. Captain Cold has always been DC’s most interesting ice villain, and his ruthless leadership of the rogues brought with it a twisted code of honor. Heat Wave was his fiery counterpart, and sometimes romantic rival. The Mirror Master had a jaunty attitude, and wielded clever illusions. The Weather Wizard blew up a storm. The Pied Piper would one day become one of the comic world’s first openly gay characters. Such gadgeteers as the Trickster, Captain Boomerang, and the Top kept Flash guessing. Captain Cold’s sister, the Golden Glider, finally made the rogues co-ed.

But it was the big guns who really gave Barry a headache. Gorilla Grodd came from a hidden African city of super gorillas, and his force-of-mind was legendary. Abra Kadabra combined science with magic out of his home era, the 64^th century. The one who would haunt him forever, though, was the super-fast psycho of the 25^th century known as Professor Zoom, the Reverse Flash. (Spoiler Alert!) It’s because of him that Barry ended up having a tragic origin story to rival Batman’s; a new origin that’s so good, it became a part of the CW television series.

Look for Part 2 this Friday.

Movie Review: Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)

Birdman feels like a stage play.  That would not normally be a compliment coming from me.  I don't dislike stage plays, its just that cinematic adaptations often set up the camera in the blandest way possible in order to maintain the integrity of the words and acting.  Birdman is not an adaptation of a stage play, but it takes place during the production of a stage play, and it also shows us exactly how cinema can take that setting and effectively enhance it.

Michael Keaton plays a one-time Hollywood superstar who is trying to put on an adaptation of a Raymond Carver short story.  The movie follows him around as he deals with his personal assistant and bratty daughter (Emma Stone), his stressed out lawyer (Zack Galifianakis), the female lead of the play (Naomi Watts) and her legendary actor boyfriend who joins the cast at the last minute (Edward Norton).  

From a formal perspective, this movie is quite innovative.  The film is presented to us as one long, uncut camera shot, tracking the characters through fairly narrow backstage passageways and occasionally out into greater Manhattan.  In reality, the story takes place over a week or two, so the cuts are really just well hidden, but the effect creates a greater sense of immediacy.  When I say this feels like a stage play, this is where it does so brilliantly-- the camera work is incredibly intimate and you often feel like you're in the room with the actors.  But unlike with a stage play, you can feel like you're in bed with them, or even in their heads.

The acting is terrific-- it has to be, because so much of the theme is about acting and what makes it good, bad or destructive.  But I don't want to get too lost in its formal achievements-- it's also a damn entertaining movie.  This is a comedy, played by actors with very good comedic chops.  I really hope it revives Keaton's career, because he's been out of the limelight for far too long.  

The only reservation I have about the film is the soundtrack, which is mostly just jazzy drums fading in and out of scenes.  That's a minor quibble.  This is a great movie, an important film, and is liable to be nominated for all sorts of awards come the end of the year.  Check it out, if it's in your neighborhood...

Podcast Review: Rachel & Miles X-plain the X-men

I was a big comic book nerd growing up (well, okay, I still am, even though just a couple years ago I chose to sell all my graphic novels in order to fund more creative endeavors), and in the 80s, the X-men were the standard bearer of quality when it came to superhero books.  Personally, I was a bigger fan of the New Mutants, but they were part of the overall X-men family, which grew exponentially as the 80s went on.  By the time I went to college in the early 90s, I had given up comics because they had become a far too expensive addiction for me, considering my goal had been to collect every Marvel book, and I had even expanded to some DC comics once John Byrne defected.  But it wasn't just money; the truth is that everything started getting too big for me-- all the crossovers and special events were leaving me a bit confused, and every time I stopped at the comic book store in the next decade, it all seemed convoluted... especially the X-books.

So thank god for Rachel and Miles.  Their weekly podcast seeks to makes heads or tails of the glorious mess that is the X-universe, and they've done an excellent job so far.  Each episode starts with a cold opening highlighting one of the more ridiculous characters or narratives, but the bulk of the episodes focus more-or-less on the chronological progression of the comic book, ending with mailbag-style question-and-answer sessions.

Unlike many fan-produced podcasts, Rachel & Miles is a very tight program, rarely going longer than 30 minutes, and with very few unfocused moments-- almost everything in the podcast is informative or humorous.  Rachel and Miles both work in the comic book industry, and are able to use that status to bring in some big names (such as Greg Rucka or Kurt Busiek) for in depth interviews.

They've only been around for about half a year, but they've really taken off, building up a website with weekly comic book reviews, photo highlights of the podcasts, and lots of fan interaction.  If you enjoy comic books, you'll love this podcast.  You can find all their episodes and all the extras at their website http://www.rachelandmiles.com/xmen/